Ongoing Campaigns (Formerly known as Summer Campaign 2013)

Chapter 5 Part II: Vash Gets in Deep...

Vash was the man with the plan come nightfall. He overheard Ser Willis Welles, a landed knight, talking at the bar. He couldn’t remember the specific fiefdom that the man was lord of, but he knew the heraldic device of a rich entitled man-child when he saw one. He looked into the location and found that the knight had a manor house in New Clerkenwell. This was to be the target for his biggest caper yet. He was all ready to break in when he noticed that there was a convenient entrance other than the front door. There was a sewer grate at street level which looked to lead into the house. This was to be his point of entry. After prying the grate loose, the sly thief crept in and before long was standing before a downspout that led up into the house. The clever gnome climbed up and fit easily enough into the drain and soon had climbed a decent distance up it. This is where everything began to go wrong for our devious hero. He was struck in the face with…nightsoil…This did not put a damper in his spirits however, and he climbed to the top. When he lifted the lid however, he was shocked to find a surprised drunken guard who, upon being cut by a toilet-gnome’s knife, slammed the lid down and fled to alert the rest of the house. Upon returning to the “point of entry” Vash again was surprised to this time fine himself face to…nether regions…with a serving lady who struck him over the head with a mirror. As she ran screaming from the bathroom, she accomplished what the guard had not yet managed to and alerted the whole place to the presence of a thief. Vash, deciding that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, grabbed a silver vase and a few vials of perfume for his trouble and made his rapid egress down the very privy from which he had just entered. Fearing the wrath of the law, Vash decided to run down the sewer to a more suitable place to get away. As he ran he was preoccupied with the idea of being caught by the guards. As a result of this, he didn’t notice when the main pipe gave out as it merged into a cistern. He fell suddenly into water filled with more than just filth. Upon clambering onto the hard stone slab in the center, Vash found himself face to face with the terror of the sewer, a thirty foot long venomous viper. In a drawn out battle of scaled-down epic proportions, the thief eventually slew the snake. Weary from fatigue and sickened from poison, Vash lost consciousness. He came to some hours later after having been washed down the sewer a ways. Still feeling the effects of his escapade, he climbed out of the sewer…only to discover that the town guards had tracked his progress and cornered him there. After thoroughly searching the area, the guards caught the gnome, now too weak to offer any resistance. He was carted off to a hospital to be bandaged and be given medicine to counteract the venom and any diseases he may have contracted. He was then unceremoniously dumped in jail to await trial for theft. Vash’s crappy caper ends with the other members of his guild being served with a bail bond in the anount of 1,001 gold pieces in the name of their imprisoned companion.

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MaddestHatter

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